Collaborative StoriesThis is where you can help me build a story. I'll continue to add on to this story based on your suggestions (characters, plots, etc.). Submit your suggestions and ideas to help me build the story. 3/7/2010 9:49:38 PM Man in the Black CoatThe man in the black coat walked down the street. The brim of his hat cast a shadow across his face so no one knew who he was. He turned a corner, and turned into a small building. Inside was a room, with a huge crowd surrounding a dead body, all their mouths wide open. Murmurs were going through the crowd as they stared. The man was confused. Was this the murdered man that had been killed three weeks ago? The man spoke:
"What is going on here?" he asked. He only knew a few people from previous experiences at work. But half of the people examining the dead body the man could not name.
"Oh, Detective Black! We're so glad you've come! We need you to find out who murdered this man!" said a woman with a pointed hat like a witch's.
The case had been covered weeks ago by a journalist that worked for the local paper, the Motown Chronicle. Not even the police had found out yet who had committed the crime and why. Strange things seemed to be happening. Detective Black remembered random murders like these back in the days of before he had destroyed his evil nemisis in a sinking ship. All of a sudden, a man dressed in a purple robe in front of a very old mantle, said to be as old as time itself, sighed impatiently as if waiting in a long line for something very important he needed to get to now. "Black Panther, come with me," he said, making motions with his gloved hands. Detective Black was startled by being unusually adressed by his secret agent name, the Black Panther. He followed the man in purple robes to a secret trapdoor right in front of the mantle. Everyone watched as Detective Black crossed the room, but when the man in purple opened up the trapdoor everyone's attention was drawn to the dead body on the floor. Reluctantly, Detective Black climbed into the trapdoor, not sure if the man in purple was a friend or a foe.
Black Panther (or Black for short) followed the man down a steep ladder that almost felt as if he were climbing on the bottom of the monkey bars it was so slanted. Sweating, Black landed on the hard dirt ground of the tunnel. He coughed as dust arose and caught in his chest.
The man in the purple robes fell gracefully to the ground almost without any noise. Dust swirled around him too, but he did not cough. Black tried to see his face, but it was covered by a purple mask. Of course, thought Black. Perfect. Now I don't even know who he is!
"You may be wondering who I am," said the man in purple with a deep, low voice that was somehow recognizable, but Black couldn't put his finger on it.
"Of course," said Black. "Anyone would be." He tried to sound calm, but really he was very frightened.
"I already know your name. My name is Maricous Brooks. I believe we've met before, when you tried to kill me not so long ago." The man smiled wickedly.
Black gasped. That's why the voice was familiar! It belonged to his evil nemisis, Maricous Brooks, on of the country's top ten most wanted criminals. Brooks cackled as staggering men with spears and ragged clothing came out from all around him, encircling Black. The detective pulled out his knife and slashed away, but magically the wounds seemed to heal without a single scar. He fought them off with his knife for what was like ten hours to him, but was really about five minutes. Exhausted, he stopped, breathing hard. Brooks laughed as his men bound his hands and feet with rope on a stick. As they carried him away, Black's head hit a rock. He blanked out for a long time, so long that Brooks even thought he was finally dead...
But was he?
| | List of Viewer Suggestions8/31/10 Jenna Chow Age 9 Pennsylvania, United States  People were gathered to in a group. The Man in the Black coat ask:"Whats the promblm?" A woman said stup 8/31/10 Jenna Chow Age 9 Pennsylvania, United States  People were gathered to in a group. The Man in the Black coat ask:"Whats the promblm?" A woman said stup 7/28/10 cathyheart Age 10 Kentucky, United States  i think that you should have when he wakes he should be alone. 6/24/10 soccergirl55 Age 10 Massachusetts, United States  I think that is a great first chapter! I think black panther should wake up and find himself in that bad guys house. The bad guy and his friends should be talking about a plan to take over the world or something! I bet you could make this a great story! 6/6/10 Zweetok Age 11 England  I think the next story should be about comedy or history, but not factual. I think only PROFESSIONAL writers should write factual, otherwise it becomes boring (sorry Gemma).
Can Gemma you have more collaborate stories, because I am waiting around for another one.
Unless you are waiting for someone to come up with a good idea. Maybe we could do one that's historical and funny at the same time.
Oh and stanley, I've dedicated a story to you, go see it!
5/26/10 sara224722557 Age 12 Michigan, United States  I thought it was a very well written story. 5/19/10 dotdot29 Age 13 Iowa, United States  its time to fly high. To accept the beauty of dotdot29. A legendary soccer player has been found alive, after 29 years in hiding. And miraculously, that is her soccer number. She is honored as MVP and is welcomed back to her star position of center forward. BOW DOWN! BOW DOWN! I am the queen of all civilization. BOW DOWN! BOW DOWN! 5/19/10 ducksfan111 Age 12 Iowa, United States  Black Panther opened his eyes slowly. Disoriented, he turned his head.
Then realized he couldn't. 4/1/10 bert Age 10 North Carolina, United States  Brooks thought again,"What am I talking about, I believe he'll never die. 4/1/10 darius Age 11 Texas, United States  a crowd surronding the dead body. 3/29/10 Stanley Age 13 Scotland 
Great story, i love it!
If he ends up in some sort of jail - jail's are escapable. The person that built it would want some way of escape in case there's a mutiny, and he gets thrown in there. There could be some dynimite hidden up a sanddy stone. B.P could stick it in a barred window, ask the guards fo a cigarette as a last request, light the dynimites fuse and WHOLAH!
PLus, some one could be in there with him!
"You'll never take me alive!!!" 3/29/10 Eagles Soar 1-Sarah Age 11 North Carolina, United States  The story s awesome! I would love to see some more acion because you have lots of action packed moments. 3/29/10 Eagles Soar 2-Tanner Age 11 North Carolina, United States  I think you should say in about 3 days black woke up in another dark roam wit a litle,little light coming from up above. Black notices2 of the spearmen in front of the cell staring at him like guards! 3/29/10 Eagles Soar 3-Emily Age 11 North Carolina, United States  When he awoke he was above ground, it was very bright, he cuold barley see. he did not know where he was until he heard waves...... He must be on a island!! It all seemed so fimiliar, the man in purple(Brooks),this island, the dead body. 3/29/10 Eagles Soar 4-Seth Age 11 North Carolina, United States  About 30 hours later he woke up very starled. He did not know were he was and couldn't see anything. Suddenly, something came down from the darkness. 3/27/10 Ruza Age 10 Iowa, United States  Stanley, a 'mantel' is like a shelf above a fireplace.
Basically, you can call it a fireplace shelf. 3/27/10 Ruza Age 10 Iowa, United States  Maye:
Black woke up in a small, dark room. A small, scented candle fill the barren room with some light. Black arose, but a pain stirred in his head. "Ouch," he murmurred as he plopped back onto the ground. A voice erupted the silence. "Hello?" Black looked around, frightened. 'How is that?' he thought, too scared to talk.
Black looked towards the candle: the CANDLE was talking! Black breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn't another person...
But then the voice went silent. Black stirred up enough courage to get up, and examine the small but sturdy room. When Black came to a purple curtain, he was curious. Opening the curtain a slit, just enough that he could see, he gasped.
You can add on if you want :)
3/15/10 zbird123 Age 11 North Carolina, United States  Very good, perfect, perfect, 5 stars 3/14/10 Stanley Age 13 Scotland  The man by the mantle could be a foe. The Black Panther (B.P) could talk to him, in this dark dungeon thing, and then ask him his name. The man's name is the name of his evil nemsis, who he thought he destoryed ages ago, in a sinking ship. Men come out from everywhere, trying to catch the B.P, and he fights them. I don't know if he escapes or not.
Only a suggestion.
(By the way, if this is a detective story, you are never going to get rid of me! Sorry! ^-^ 3/12/10 meggie Age 10 England  I like it. Maybe you could explain a bit more 'bout the dead body murder part 3/9/10 Stanley Age 13 Scotland  GREAT~! 3/8/10 Stanley Age 13 Scotland  (I did have another suggestion, but it hasn't gone through - it must be my school's computers)
... and the only person who could catch the black panther was Detective Mule, the slyest and slickest detective anyone had ever seen - but no body ever did see him: he slid in and out of the shadows.
Zweetok, what's a mantle?
3/8/10 Stanley Age 13 Scotland  Can it be a huge crowd, and there are gatthered around a dead body? That black coat man sounds like a detective!YAY! Oops, i felt like i am abandoing the black sword... 3/8/10 Zweetok Age 11 England  Inside was a room witha huge mantle. Many questions were asked about that mantle and it's age but no one knew. Some say it was as old as time itself. The man was a thief he ate nothing and drank little so he could slip past guards unnoticed. He wore a bandit suit and he was the best thief in the world. They call him black panther...
Do you like my idea? Is it good?
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